dear God, I felt lighter constrains among my knees. in dawn dreams I dwelt a lot among my knees then I clearly saw my wedding photographs which we did twice against taboo and ominous. when i suggested my colleague's suggestion, my ex-wife distrusted me, then when done, she complained she seemingly too old in product photos, upon her complain, I didn't shit but did choose my advantage: acquaintance allows I redo. I still remembered the camera woman, who is beautiful, whose dubious eyes querying why I didn't respect tradition. the larger photo is like my son's mom's solo, likes a virgin or a small girl never grow up. she overwatched the lounge where she tutored for profit all day long which insane in my eyes and expelled me. it's still the only photo left in her house. I saw now no intimacy between us, we just distrusted each other, and I would not turn back to her. dear God, I felt much easer after the decision. let my life easier, God dad.