zhone, 矢子家庭集。是子不逆，有始无终。何时何处事假。 one China of one Chinese. unite China as well as Chinese all over the world under one China in democracy under God's shine. secure China in Empire and Dynasty, uphold Chinese under God's shine.
last noon I wrapped myself with blanket & dozed, when I woke up my body warm but my right lower part of leg wet & cold. that reminded when I first time moved into this dorm room the air was damned wet & I busy with my tasks without break. when I jogged near 3pm, I found nerves of my right leg resumed: my ankle is strong & flexible. my lower part of leg felt warmth in the cold weather. before my dinner I told my son the gospel. my bank account also added some bonus the colleague informed days ago. I transferred the grandma of my son 100 CNY for celebration & thankful. all the night my leg sensible. in the night I peed twice. each time i returned to dream, I dreamed my confined bed as some condo where I persuade some young man of my concern, say nephew or hometown kid, to marry and have sex for the purpose of life. I even dreamed of erotic sex position. after anxious free got up, my fingers' pain slightly thicker but however I put up swift, now I'm hopeful. dear God dad, my faith in you stronger.
Last edited by riveryog on 06 Feb 2021, 09:06, edited 2 times in total.
my confined bed now hardly a relaxation for my stiff body, still I had to. last night I likely peed twice, each time returned to dream, I detailedly dreamed of in rebellion organization. we planted mines under pebbles, also planted potatoes. we fought for Australian. I designed campaigns, assigned man hands.last night I reviewed my first love with a hometown neighbor's niece, who didn't complete her college but married a graduate provincial. long time I thought I missed most of my hometown province's girls' love then I moved to northeastern China while my hometown is central China, but now I recognized, I didn't miss the best part of it: we did our best contact when we last walk out in the hometown town she accepted my invitation. we were so poor but we had youth & young plays in which I regret for nothing, for both of us. Dear God dad, I once lost balance upon my lingering bed, now it turned out peaceful and routine. Thanks, God dad, let my life hopeful & playful.
recently reviewed my first love more and tried to reach it. I trusted my kid brother who busy with his business and rebuffed my will to reconnect. then my nephew responded, offered hand. he is also a businessman. he inquired my mindset, my dad as God, my being the Son. it was almost first time I explained my family legacy. in dawn dream, I devised plan to buy siberia, as another way from military action to free Chinese north. that's why I lingered here so long even I desperate for central China sunshine.later I detailedly design layout of leaflet of likely promotion our victory of gain siberia. last night unfortunately the pee kettle turned upside down and spoilt, for I didn't in night perceived the situation. however, it not smelly, nor messy. thanks God, I still enjoyed this crystal clearly settled morning.
in dawn dream once & once, I treated my bed as state funeral, or imperial memory hall.then again I used it as command center, or operative base, for interviewing VIPs and issue ordains. last night I peed some outside of the kettle. dear God dad, let me find new laundry contractor, let me clean and keep sanity. today I due to shower, let my baptism smoothly, dear Holy!
last night my carelessness let my pee kettle spoilt again for the kettle tilted. It's a peaceful sunday Morning. with music & apple from yesterday street farmer vendor, I felt satisfying. last night I dreamed my son first facing his challenge, but he handled the task differently from me. I expected he compressed our transferring programe & data in one multi-part archive, but he seperated into 2 files, my data and his OS. I at first anxious about data integrity, but seemingly faultless.recently I more and more thought about sex, I hope I can exchange sex with my beloved female.God dad, enable me as whole man, grant me acting wholly responsible.
last night I got pee kettle right after 3 failures. in dawn dream, we among concerned like my son, that we will survive till enter survival phrase. for the purpose, I peed near 7am and returned to quilt in which I dreamed we entered survival phrase, till the water bag opened and the inside octopus released. It's normal morning, dear God dad, my anxiety upon my painful fingers relentless. hear Holy, let my life easier and my life wholly.
last night I almost got erection. I had to pee to lessen heat gathering in my penis.God shown I still capable of sex. in dawn dream, I remotely contacted someone, like my son, I tried hard to keep my surface layer has running water like my hometown's brook. after got up and preparing blog, I saw my parents seeing my departure for school. God knows how they missing me while I never perceived that when I was young. this morning I lingered longer on bed, still I didn't miss timing. God dad, let my life easier.
last night I video talked with my dearest sister, in which i saw clearer the wife of her elder son, I commented why the son did't satisfied now that his wife so beautiful and sons so smart? then in night my son and his mom refused to talk to me several times, likely they hated I left them. in dawn dream, I was a coach of a Taekwondo candidate, we saw many promising candidates, but we were not trained except labor and chores. we don't know how to complete the competition now that we were arranged the last. the cliche saying we won at large surprisingly but we really don't know how to martially beaten someone down, except my candidate like a kingkong in size. near dawn I need to pee while lingering in quilt's warmth, i only remember a word descripting ourselves mockingbird. dear God dad recently 2 days I jogged in hottest period of day, my leg and knee felt better, don't let me anxious about timetable, dear Holy.
last night was lunar new year eve. fireworks everywhere let me sleeplessly. in dawn dream outside of a building, one side is the gleeson's story, another side is another disabled athlete. I always thought the difference between diligent & slavery, grace & cheap, blessed & ruthless like beast. gleeson's dad, the freezing man's father, likely from a cheap family, so he pushed hard his son relentlessly surviving like beast. that forced his team members in shames or glory, like every industry has downplay.that remind my own history: I relentlessly chased my learning, esp computer, even in adversities situation like the current chilly dorm room which disabled me now with painful fingers & waist. those years in my youth, I never complained poor salary, long time non-break hardworking, coarse food. dear God dad, mightbe I never know Marxism's bitchiness different from capitalism's grace, mightbe I never know Chinese well educated than blacks & Muslim. dear Holy, there must be a standard for my imperial citizenship, let my Empire shrives while barbarian sinks, beast sink. I seeking bliss, dear Holy.
in dawn dream I with my partner interviewed for software development. a corporate woman assigned to us.I intended to develop 3 tools, each with unique criteria, say, the 3rd is teaching taichi,I using inside or outside of a home base to judge the progress of learning. others I forgot now. yesterday I got my dinner normally in restaurant even most restaurant shutdown in lunar new year. in noon jog, I shifted 50 CNY to 4 kids on their way to downtown for fun. dear God dad, peace in my heart and your promise let this morning shines.